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Cleean Courtney Ferguson Awww, Cub Ginger is the cutest! This week seems like the perfect time—post-World Naked Bike Ride, pre-Pride—to tell you about when I found a naked man in my house pawing through my things, and unlike many nude snoopers, he was a welcome and delightful guest. The man in question, Cub Ginger, is one of a team Clean my house in the nude naked male house cleaners for a Portland nuude called Cub Cleanerswho will swab your abode for a couple hours or a full day, all while being total Blackbuddy seeking Tahlequah buddy. I got a trial cleaning for three hours.

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Not nearly as much as you'd think. This is what it must feel like to be a rich person.

So you probably have a pantsload of questions, eh? Hit the jump and I'll cover most of 'em.

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Yes, there's more pictorial tje. What happened when he showed up? Cub Ginger, or Johnny, arrived with a tote bag of supplies, dressed in shorts and a flowing red beard, and his phone out ready to check Clean my house in the nude with headquarters. He was pretty stoked that I live in Southeast, because he takes the bus everywhere and it can be hard to get up to the West Hills, which leads to ohuse next question Who are Cub Cleaners' primary customers?

I was Johnny's first-ever female customer.

I laughed when he asked me what my partner thought about using Cub Cleaners. I described my very brief conversation with my husband.

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Yeah, a little at first. There was a lot of aggressive eye contact on my part.

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I would've gotten into an animal-kingdom death match if this were the wild. Johnny stripped down as soon as I gave him a tour of the house. He was super at ease, and talked me Clean my house in the nude it when I looked uncomfortable. He said that if I got ny of him being naked to just request "that he put back on his cute little underwear. My cats, however, were never put at ease. Yeah, but, do naked house cleaners really just clean? Johnny says his friends ask him that all the Clwan.

Yes, naked house cleaners really just clean. And he did a great job.

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Over three hours, he cleaned two bathrooms, the kitchen, living room, and vacuumed up the joint. It was sparkly when he was done. Three hours isn't much time to fit in a consultation and a full housecleaning, so if you get a naked housecleaning in yhe near future, I'd recommend a bit more time to get stuff like Clean my house in the nude your knickknacks dusted not a euphemism.

The Cubs do all sorts of nudee too—basements, deep cleanings, weekly refreshers—the whole shebang. Have the naked cleaners ever been put into weird ooky situations?

Johnny says nothing untoward has ever happened Clean my house in the nude him. According to him, the owner of Cub Cleaners, Buck, says Clean my house in the nude unusual has been reported in their yearlong existence. That's with a crew of seven cleaners check 'em out herebut they request you enter your email address to keep the creeps at bay.

Basically Johnny calls into headquarters at the start of cleaning so the homeowner knows someone's got his back, and dispatch knows where he's at and how long he'll be there. They also recommend you don't have a bunch of people over to watch—'cuz, duh, that's kinda creepy. Wooster whores sluts nudes all of Johnny's customers are great, he says.

Depending on the week, Johnny has one or two cleanings. And dude loves to clean.

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His favorite job so far has been cleaning a hoarder's house. You know in Seinfeldwhen there's "good naked" and "bad naked"? Courtney Ferguson There was some squatting involved. And I don't know, I'm not a gay dude, so watching a naked bear clean my house doesn't Clean my house in the nude much to ramp up my ladyparts. Then at one point, a penis might have Cllean my dish towel. But right on, naturalism!

Most of all, I'm really into getting my house cleaned! That was the best. Last and most certainly least, what kind of music do you play when a bare-naked teddy bear is scrubbing the microwave?

Jens Lekman seemed a little too happily self-hating. Greg Dulli too predatory. Beck's "Sexx Laws" too Adele too full of feelings eating.

I know a waitress who quit serving tables because an elderly gentleman came in and offered her a deal. He hired her to clean his house naked once a week in. Watch Get naked and clean my house online on YouPorn is the largest Amateur porn video site with the hottest selection of free. Watch Naked House Cleaning 1 video on xHamster, the best sex tube site with My kitchen needs a thorough going-over, could take hours.

I finally just hit shuffle and stopped freaking out. Should I try Cub Cleaners? I had a great experience. I'm thinking about calling to have my basement cleaned.

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Johnny was a sweetheart and a half. We chatted about roller derby, music, hoarding, cleaning, and he really wanted me to feel comfortable.

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And I didn't have to vacuum or scrub any showers. SuitePortland, OR Subscribe to The Portland Mercury 's newsletter Subscribe. You might also be interested in these: They Still Have Questions.

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